Friday, December 10, 2010

Thank you Kimblee dear!!

OH, just LOOK at my new blog!!  Don't you LOVE it?!  And it's all thanks to my super-smart, sweet, amazing niece Kimberly!!  Thank you, thank you, thank you Kimblee dear!!  I love you & your beautiful little family so much!!  And thanks for always having such great advice for me .... filled with truth, love, & lots of wisdom, & all from the Holy Spirit, through you, to me!!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Waiting for my Prince Charming!

Hello to anyone who follows my blog!  I certainly hope that your life is going much better than I feel mine is.  I just can't seem to find much joy or happiness in my life, or even much to be grateful for.  I mean, I know that I'm alive, I have a home with food on the table & all of my needs are being met, except one .... love.  Well, sure, my parents, sisters, daughter, granddaughter, & other family members love me, but .... I NEED a man in my life to love me, cherish me, & be with me till death do us part.  I had that, several times in fact, with the same man, but I blew it.  I REALLY blew it!  And now, my health isn't getting any better, I'm stuck in this ridiculously small county where there is mostly old people & families with young children.  There are hardly any single people over 40 here, apparently.  My pastor even confirmed he felt the same way when I asked about a singles group at church.  WONDERFUL.  I pray about this EVERY SINGLE DAY, to no avail!  I wonder, does God answer us or send us messages through our dreams?!  My personal thought is yes, He does, at least I think He does for me.  I have the most vivid dreams that seem so real even after I first wake up.  Really strange dreams, too.  They usually make no sense at all.   The thing is, I've tried joining online dating groups, & I go to church as often as my health allows, but I am on disability & unable to work.  And then, there's the biggest problem .... I already know the man I want, the man I still love & always will, but I don't think he wants me that way any more.  And I can't say that I blame him really.  We still keep in touch, sort of.  I hear from his mother & his sister fairly often, online & on the phone, several times a week.  I feel stuck.  I don't have a car & I can't support myself on what I get from SSI, & I would love to stay close to my daughter & granddaughter .... so, what do I do?!  WHAT DO I DO NOW?!  I heard a song the other day that nearly took my breath away because it seemed to be speaking straight from my heart .... "Nobody Knows", I forget who the singer is though, but it's a country song.  {It's on my facebook.}  It says things like "I'm dyin' inside & nobody knows it but me!"  & "I'm missin' you & nobody knows it but me!"  Oh how I wish that God would answer my prayer & bring me SOMEBODY who loves me & wants to be with me, & who is willing to work hard & commit our relationship to God as a covenant & NOT a breakable contract!!  Somebody who is willing to stand up against anyone who tries to get between us or who refuses to treat me right.  I want someone to hold me, someone to take a picture for our yearly Christmas cards, someone for me to take care of & love, someone to share my most intimate & private thoughts with, someone for me to listen to, someone to snuggle up to on cold nights, someone to take trips & vacations with .... oh Heavenly Father, PLEASE bring me a man to love who will love me back!!